Tonight I will go home and meet my family.  I’ll arrive just a little bit after Heather comes home from work and the kids get back from school.  Jonathan (age 11) will want to play catch.  Savannah (age 9) will want to discuss something that happened at school.  Scarlett (age 6) will want to snuggle and have me scratch her back.  Yet they don’t realize that we still have to get dinner ready, do a few loads of laundry, bathe the girls, pay some bills, and take out the trash.  They also seem to have WAY more energy than do Heather and I.  We are beat!  We are exhausted!  But we also love being parents and want to treasure the time we have with our children.  I’ve learned so many truths through parenting young children over the past decade.  Here are a few lessons from an exhausted parent:

1. They Matter Most

There are nearly 1,000 people who call me pastor but only 3 who call me daddy.  The great temptation of a driven, goal-oriented, self-aggrandizing person like myself is to forget which group of people matters most.  I find myself giving my best emotional energy, physical attention, and spiritual counsel to those I see throughout the day.  Then I come home completely depleted.  I have nothing left to give.  All I want is to do is eat a little dinner, watch a little news, and clash a little clan.  But then I remember these little ones will only be with me for a short time.  Ask any parent of an adult child.  They will tell you the time goes by too quickly.  One day you’re dropping them off at Kindergarten and the next day you’re watching them walk into a college dorm.

2. Selflessness + Effort = Joyful Moments

There are very few people in my life today that will still be around in 20 years.  Friends will move away and church members will receive job transfers, but there are three people that will remain in my life.  I must invest in them.  I’ve learned a simple formula that helps me get off the phone, couch, or computer.  Selflessness + Effort = Joyful Moments.

Selflessness is simply asking… What would my child want me to do with them right now?  As opposed to my typical question I ask myself… What do you want to do for you right now?  Effort is merely deciding to do what they want to do.  This has led me into army battles, tickle-fights, hide-and-go-seek-in-the-dark, horsey rides, and performing a wedding for Barbie and Ken (in actuality I was glad to see they finally chose to commit).

3. It Gets Easier (then it gets harder)

Heather and I are the first to admit that we struggled through the baby phase of child rearing.  Call us crazy but the diapers, colicky cries, and vomit were a little more than we could handle.  But we survived, and so will you.  We are now in the little-league, ballet recital, and school program phase.  Trust me… it’s much easier.  But then we enter the puberty phase (yikes), followed the teenage phase (ummm), and then finally the I-wish-they-would-call phase.

It’s that final phase we keep our eye on.  We hope to create such a strong bond with our children that when they are grown and have children of their own, they will still want to spend time with us.  I know there will be a day that I want nothing more than a simple phone call from my busy adult children.  I know this will take selflessness and effort on their part.  By that time I’m hoping they will have learned from my example.

What ages are your children?  What do you find most challenging about parenthood?  What do you find most rewarding?